So, you want to write a novel?
Yes, I do.
It’s what I always wanted to do, right from a young age, I wanted to be a storyteller. As I grew older, I became much more sensible, a living had to be earned, a semblance of a career forged, and when the kids came along, I precariously balanced provider and motherhood, lurching between the two at a hundred miles an hour, sometimes crashing spectacularly as one collided with the other. Thus, storyteller became journalist, then PR consultant, then marketing manager, then a morph of all three.
During the pandemic, whilst still working but with general life practically at a standstill, I found the time to reignite my childhood ambition: I became a storyteller.
Six-and-a-half novels later, I remain unpublished.
It’s not easy to write a novel even though so many of us harbour the dream, you have to develop believable characters and take them on a journey that’s compelling enough to keep readers turning the page.
Quite a few of you have read at least one if not more of the novels I’ve keyboarded. The feedback I received has been encouraging. My sister has read almost all of them and she’s the least likely to stoke my ego, in fact, she’s the most likely to be my harshest critic. Her verdict: she likes them and she’s an avid reader so I trust her judgement.
So, why have they not seen the light of day beyond those few people I’ve emailed?
Several reasons.
I love writing
Immersing myself in a world of my own making where I’m all powerful – what I say literally goes – is just the best way to spend your time although, you need to get the balance right. I’m not convinced I did, I think I may have sacrificed too much of the ‘real’ world for my imaginary one and in the few years before my partner Des’ untimely death, I was either engrossed in a book or in my own writing. I still lived a life, earned a living, ran the household, we still went out, had fun and we conversed but I favoured fiction over reality, I am making more of an effort now to straddle my two worlds.
I hate editing
I crack on and write to the finish. I think I have readable storylines although as in life, I have a habit of going on too much. Once the story is drafted, for serious ‘real’ authors, the magic happens. The real work of nailing your characters’ idiosyncrasies, ensuring your pace is pacy, creating believable dialogue and giving your reader a reason to read on, begins but this is my Achilles heel. The book’s written, tick, move on.
Imposter syndrome
You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t doubt yourself, but it can be paralysing, whether you want to negotiate that pay rise, go for the big job, start your own business or write a book. By moving onto the next project, I don’t test the waters or, at least not nearly enough, thus I remain trapped in a perpetual cycle of writing, a bit of editing and rarely prospecting for agents or publishers.
Submitting takes so much time
It’s a laborious and not particularly enjoyable process, not only do you trawl through lists of agents but you spend time reading bios and trying to match your novel to their likes and what they’re on the look out for in that moment in time. The indie publishers are another option but they take a handful each year and are inundated with submissions from people like me. Very rapidly, you come to the conclusion that you’re wasting your time.
Rejections are demoralising
Even so, you invest the time hoping someone will recognise your talent only to receive a rejection some six to eight weeks later although some land in your inbox in just a few weeks. There’s so much competition and whilst I don’t think I’m an amazing writer, I like to think I write enjoyable, commercially viable books.
How about self-publishing?
It’s always been non-negotiable for me:-
You have to be an unrelentless self-publicist
It’s incumbent upon authors today, especially debut authors without a platform and most definitely for the self-published, to undertake their own marketing and promotion. I’ve made a living out of blowing the trumpet for others and I’m pretty good at it but I’m not so great at doing it for myself.
A decent social media presence is a must
Besides, to successfully blow your own trumpet, you need to be handy on social media. You need to amass your followers, engage with others and continually put yourself out there but, and here’s the crucial bit, you have to say something that’s worth saying. Yeah, I’m not so great on this either.
Controversial material
I’ve always been the person to swim against the tide and although it has never served me many or even any favours, I can’t stop myself, I always somehow end up with an opposing view. A quick peruse of my novel list and it’s apparent I often choose the less comfortable topics.
The odds
Around 200,000 books are published (with an ISBN) in the UK every year, that’s a lot of books, the odds are most definitely not in your favour. The impact of self-publishing, especially using Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP), is not only huge but difficult to calculate. In 2023 more than 2.6 million books were self-published with an ISBN globally (so what’s the point in adding in my two-penn’orth?).
Self-publishing is also often dismissed as the preserve of the talentless but arrogant and do I really want to count myself in such company? However, there are those who overcome the odds, sometimes dramatically. Romance author Colleen Hoover made her name on KDP, she sells millions of books, regularly features on the bestseller lists and despite attracting a traditional publisher, she has not abandoned her indie roots. She’s a great success story but an outlier. Around 90% of self-published authors sell fewer than 100 books and 20% of indie authors report not making any income at all from their books. Most indie authors make between £750-£1,000 per year so don’t give up the day job, you will be lucky to sell 5-10 copies in the first month and apparently anyone who sells 350 in their first month has done exceptionally well. Self-publishing is not for the fainthearted and I fear I am fainthearted.
I may not be good enough
Not imposter syndrome, it may be a fact.
What next?
I’ve come this far. I’ve had a website since 2022 and I completed a Masters in creative writing to improve my storytelling skills. I have never publicised my novel writing only in chats to friends but here I am revamping my website and setting up a blog. Am I persuading myself to self-publish? Maybe.
Why now?
An easy question to answer. When your partner dies suddenly at the age of 59 and your comfortable and predictable life is upended, you have two options: wallow in despair or embrace life. I’ve wallowed and am now taking tentative steps back into the land of the living. Life remains precarious (as in the everyday stuff not the eating, breathing kind), my future is uncertain and, to some extent, outside my control, but I can choose to put myself and my novel writing out there.
I’m not ready to take the plunge into the murky depths of self-publishing yet although this is an important and unexpected step (note to self: work or have social plans for future Saturday afternoons!) but if I do, I would love you to take a dip with me now and then.